The Attitudes that Will Ruin Your Life

“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6

When I was a teenager, a friend and I were going to a party. He brought a bottles of pop filled with alcohol for us to drink before we went to the party. He told me that he had only filled it up with a little bit if alcohol, which turned out to be a lie. I barely remember getting to the party. From what I am told, I almost fell into a bon-fire, passed out in the yard of the family throwing the party, and got driven home by the parents in their brand new van, which I threw up in. Not my finest moment.

When I got home that night, my mom put me on our living room couch and took care of me all night. When I woke up the next day, my parents sat me down for a “talk”. They wanted me to get help with my “drinking problem”. I was furious. A “drinking problem?” Are you kidding me? In my eyes, I was having the time of my life and just had a bad night. I told my parents the same thing I told my counselor, “You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.


My counselor agreed with me. I thought I was a genius. I figured out how to always get out of any issue that I was forced to deal with. . .  Just say, ‘You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped and I do not want to be helped.

If I could go back in time and confront my teenage self, I would punch myself in the face after I said that. While what I said was true, it was also stupid. Yes, it enabled me to live the life that I wanted to live at the time, but it also led me down a path of destruction. While it wasn’t my attitude at the time, I would also add that an equally as dangerous attitude is, “I need help, but I can do it on my own.” 

I’ve seen these attitudes ruin people’s lives over and over again. If that is your attitude toward the issues in your life right now, I can promise you that if you don’t get help, you will not like where your life ends up. To be honest, if God didn’t intercede in my life when I was 18 and I didn’t get help, I have no idea how far I would have continued down the path I was on. If I had to guess, I would probably be an alcoholic or a heroin addict.

In the past ten years of my life, I have to learned to seek out help even when I don’t think I need it. It is what wise people do. Every wise person I know gets help as much as they can! I am constantly asking friends, mentors, and others I look up to, to speak into my life. I am always asking God to show me the issues in my life that are holding me back from becoming who He has called me to be.

When I find issues that I need to deal with in my life, it’s not fun. There are times that I don’t want to change.  In fact, a lot of times, the issues I have can seem a bit overwhelming. ‘

However, I have found that if you’ll walk with God, surround yourself with the right people, and get the help you need, then you can conquer anything! I have found that the best thing about dealing with issues is that once you deal with them, you miss out on ALL kinds of regrets, pain, frustrations, and consequences. 

Ask people who you trust to speak into your life. Ask them what issues they think you have that you need to work on. Be open to hearing anything that they tell you. Once you discover the issues, do whatever it takes to deal with them!

If there are issues you know you need help with, GET HELP! Don’t be too prideful or stupid to think that you do not need help or that you can help yourself. If you don’t think you have issues, that is your issue! Ask people in your life, they’ll tell you your issues!

Do you tend to have one of these attitudes when facing issues in your life:

1.) You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.

2.) I know I need help, but I can do it myself. 

If so, it’s time for a change of attitude. If you’ll change your attitude, you’ll change your future.

What issues and attitudes are holding you back from becoming the person God created you to be? 


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