A few months ago, my future father-in-law said to me, “Bubs, now that you’re engaged, what advice would you give the students you speak to on the subject of dating and relationships?”
Recently, I shared a message with our youth ministry about what I have learned about dating and relationships. I hope these will help you in your pursuit of your future spouse or help you in your current relationship with your spouse! If you’d like to listen to the message I spoke, listen here!
“Every good and perfect gift is from above” -James 1:17
Before You Date:
Find #1 before #2 – The most important thing you can do in life is to have a relationship with God. Your relationship with God should be the foundation of everything you do! Healthy relationships start with a healthy relationship with God first! Having a relationship with God will also give you the confidence to make wise decisions!
Get to a Place Where You Don’t Need to be in a Relationship – Be willing to go a year or two without dating. I’m not saying you have to take a year or two off of dating, but you should be open to it. If you’re unable to “survive” without being in a relationship, that is not healthy and you’re setting yourself up for a lot of hurt. Don’t hop from one relationship to another!
Recognize You Attract Who You Are Now Who You Want – Name the top 10 qualities you’d want in the perfect spouse. Now, look them over, do you have those qualities? If you want a Godly man or woman, are you a Godly man or woman?
Recognize that if You’re Willing to Date Someone, You’re Willing to Marry Them! – That’s a fact!
Know What You Want and Don’t Settle for Anything Less – I’d encourage you to make a list of everything you want in a future spouse! Be specific! Do you want them to be Godly? Value purity? A gentleman? Once you have your list, trust God for those qualities in a spouse! Don’t settle!
Don’t Date Someone That Isn’t a Christian! Period!
Look For People in Good Places – I can’t tell you how many people I meet that say, “I can’t find 1 good guy or 1 good girl!” I usually ask them where they are looking. “Clubs and bars!” Hmm… I wonder why you’re having trouble meeting someone worth pursuing! Good people are in good places doing good things. That’s all I’m going to say about that!
Be Patient and Trust God – As a part of an internship, I had to take a year off of dating while I was with Laura. I asked my pastor, “What if she’s with someone else by the time I’m done with my year?” He said, “Bubba, you’re not trusting God!” Baam! Be patient! Trust God!
Which one of these stuck out to you the most? Which one do you need to work on?
What other advice would you give to people before they date?
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