Yesterday, I shared an experience about an issue that I was dealing with in which I was convinced the problem was other people. What I discovered was that I was the issue! I had developed a negative pattern in my life.
The negative pattern I had developed was how I react when I disagree with authority figures in my life. Instead of going to them and talking about the issue I am having with them, I would go to my peers and see if they agree with me about my issues with the person in authority. I would get as many people as I could to agree with me. (Am I the only one that does this?)
The outcome, I would feel great that I wasn’t the only one that felt this way.
The problem? I would feel great momentarily that I am not alone, but would become more and more frustrated every day that the issue wasn’t being addressed. Perhaps I was waiting for someone else to deal with the issue.
When I brought this issue up to a mentor, he asked me to give him an example. I gave him one of many. As I mentioned yesterday, he asked me, “Is this really about them or is it about you?” It was about me.
He said, “Now that you have discovered this unhealthy pattern in your life, it’s time to stop that pattern and create a new and healthier pattern.” I agreed. He said, “How can you deal with this issue differently?”
I said, “Sit down with the authority figure and have an open and honest dialogue about the issues I have.”
He said, “I think that’s a good idea. When will you do that?”
I said, “Maybe this week?”
He responded, “How about right now?
I said, “Right now? Here? Really?” (Fear ran through my body)”
He said, “Yep. Right here right now. Get out your phone, call this person, and set-up the meeting for this afternoon.”
I was shaking! I picked up my phone, called the person, and set-up a meeting. We met that afternoon and had a long conversation. It turned out way better than I thought it would. It also gave me the courage to realize that I can face my fears. When I went home that day, I told my wife that I had a life changing day. That day will forever be marked as a significant growth experience.
I am so grateful for my mentor making me make the call immediately. I would have put it off as long as I could. I probably would have ended up repeating my unhealthy pattern again.
The lesson: Whatever issues you’re afraid to deal with, deal with them now. If you’re afraid to deal with them now, get around a mentor who will challenge you to deal with it now. There is no value in putting it off! Deal with it! I promise it won’t be as bad as you think and it will be a significant growth experience for you.
What issues do you need to deal with right now?
What issues have you finally dealt with in your life in the past that were a significant part of your growth?
Leave a comment below!
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