How to Overcome Insecurity and Identity Issues

December 2, 2015

Have you ever had an identity crisis? I have. I worked at a large church and in 2011 I left it to help plant a church. You know what I discovered when I left? I discovered that ALL of my identity was wrapped up in working at a big church. So what happened? For six to twelve months I had an identity crisis. I was depressed. I thought I was a nobody and that I would never do anything significant with my life. I was miserable.

Have you been there? It is in these moments that our lives can really get derailed. It’s one reason I think so many people turn to drugs and alcohol and their lives start going down a slippery slope.

Insecurity and identity issues are something I believe we all struggle with to varying degrees. I’ve been working on overcoming these issues for a long time. Recently I listened to a series by Keith Moore that has been changing my life in this area. He did a series called, “Precious in His Sight”. You can listen, watch, and download the messages here.

The thing he said that has impacted me the most is this: “If your identity is anything you can lose, you’re in danger of having an identity crisis.”

Examples of things that could cause you to have an identity crisis:

You’re the most talented person in the city at your craft, what happens when someone comes along who is more talented than you? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You’re the most attractive man or woman in your area, what happens when you get older and you’re no longer the most attractive? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You’re the top performer in your company, what happens when someone comes in and out performs you and you’re no longer the star? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You’ve been clean for 3 years and you relapse? Does that mean you’re a nobody and that you’re worthless?

You’ve one of the richest people in the city, you have a beautiful home, and you give tons of money to the poor. What happens if you lose all of your money? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You work at a prestigious company, church, or non-profit or you have a prestigious position. What happens if they let you go? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You have the most incredible spouse and family, what happens if you lost them? Does that mean you’re a nobody and that you couldn’t go on?

You hang out with all the “cool” people and go to all the “cool” events, but what happens if they no longer invite you to come around? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

You’re the best athlete in the country, but what happens when someone comes along who is better than you? Does that mean you’re a nobody?

Other people have told you you’re a failure, you’re ugly, and you’ll never amount to anything. Does that mean that other people are correct and they define who you are?

You’ve failed big time in the past. Does that mean you’re a failure and will never amount to anything?

[shareable cite=”Keith Moore”]If your identity is in anything you can lose, you are in trouble of having an identity crisis![/shareable]

Did any of these hit home with you? I know they did for me. Although I have grown a lot in this area over the past five years, I still need to make sure I am not finding my identity in:

My performance
My wife
How good of shape I am in
Where I work
How many people read my blog, listen to the podcast, attend our events, or like my posts
What opportunities I have

What to find Your Identity In

So, if we shouldn’t find our identity in something we can lose, what should we find it in? The one thing we can never lose: God!

This may sound like an extremely spiritual answer to you, especially if you are not a believer. However, I am here to tell you that if you find your identity in anything outside of God, you’re bound to have an identity crisis and if you don’t have God to run to, you’re in danger of really messing up your life.

Keith went on to say that, “Something is worth what someone is willing to pay for it. God was willing to pay for you with the blood of His son. To God, that is how much YOU were worth.”

We all need to find our identity in Christ. At the end of the day we should find our identity, value, and worth in the fact that He loves us, He died for us, He redeemed us, and He has a plan for our lives. Those are all things we can never lose!

When we find our identity in Christ, we no longer have to strive to be something because we are something. We no longer have to compete and compare our lives others. We can simply live life for an audience of one.

[shareable]When we find our identity in Christ, we no longer have to strive to be something because we are something. [/shareable]

In Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus said, “²⁴“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.²⁶And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. ²⁷And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

There will be moments in your life where you will have an opportunity to have an identity crisis. If your identity is in anything outside of God, your life has the potential to fall apart. However, if your identity is in God, although it may sting, you’ll be able to stand tall and move forward because your identity is in something you can never lose!

Questions/Challenges:

Take an hour and reflect on this message. What things are you finding your identity in that you could lose?
Have you ever lose something you had your identity in before? How did you handle that?
Have you ever found your identity in God? If not, I’d love to talk to you about that. Feel free to e-mail me at dougsmithlive@gmail.com.

Have thoughts or comments? Comment below in the comment section!

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