If you’re anything like me you have an incredibly hard time telling people no or telling them something they do not want to hear. Because of this I often find myself “overbooking” my schedule to please people. In elementary school, middle school, high school, and even for some off college it seemed as if I had an infinite amount of time to spend with people, so I would hang out with as many people as I could as often as I could. As I continue in life’s journey I am finding that the more you continue to grow in life the more important your time is and how you spend your time. You end up having to choose very intentionally who to spend time with and what you spend your time doing. Craig Groeschel had a great post on this.
i.e. Right now I am running a marathon, working 30 hours a week at church, I’m a full time college student, and go to Bible School. I have less time to spend with people now then I did when I was in high school and only had a 7 hour school day. When I get married, I’ll need to spend a ton of time with my wife so my time will be even more limited…etc.
I often have people challenge me that I only spend time with “big dogs” or “people that can add value to me” and that bothered me incredibly. I would scream inside, “I only have so much time in a week, month, year, etc… and everyone wants my time and if I don’t give it to them then I’m the bad guy… I CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY….AHHHHH.”
I’ve discovered that it’s a fact that:
- “You will go no further than the people you surround yourself with”
- “You show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future”
- “You attract who you are, not who you want”
I guess what I am finding is this:
Friendships in life develop and are constantly changing as you go through seasons of life. I am convinced that “best friends” should be able to not see each other for years, and yet they’ll get together and it will be like they’ve never left. Yet so many people make the assumption that it will always be like the “good old days” and they get upset when it’s not. Unfortunately these people end up missing out on the journey because they refuse to go on and accept change. Even when you do give them time, they end up wasting it by complaining about how it isn’t like the good old days (this drives me insane…Grow and Get a Life!)
I want to spend my time wisely with people who:
- Can constantly challenge me to dream, go after God, and change the world
- Are going somewhere in life and understand the value of time
- Are a blast to hang out with
- Don’t spend 90% of their conversations complaining
- Will treat me the same even if they haven’t seen me in years
If I spent time with everybody who wants my time… I’d burn out, would never have time alone, would never have devotions, and would never be effective in life. I love what Paul said:
“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.”
If I am not intentional with how I spend my time and who I spend it with… I will miss out on so much of what God has for me…I’m here to please an audience of One!
Realize I am not talking about spending time with people who are hurting and need counseling and things of that nature… I am talking about my personal life.
What are your thoughts on this subject?