And if your eye distracts you from God, pull it out and throw it away. – Matthew 18:9
This past weekend I was in Florida spending some time with a pastor of a church plant. It was an incredible time and he taught me a lot. One of the best things he taught me was along the lines of accountability.
Some of the heroes they had when they planted their church have fallen morally. It crushed them. They are determined not to end up in the same boat. They will not end up on CNN. They will not end up having to tell their kids that mommy and daddy will no longer be together. They will never look their spouse in the eyes and tell them they messed up. The solution? Accountability.
They said, “Everyone who falls morally had something going on in their hearts and minds that they didn’t shine light on. They did not expose thoughts or temptations they had. Since they never exposed them, they grew and grew and grew until they acted on them.”
The earlier you expose bad thoughts and desires, the better. The longer you wait, the easier it becomes to justify those thoughts and actions.
Two Choices to Exposing Sin:
- We Expose it
- It Exposes Us
HALTBS – Times You are Most Likely To Mess Up:
When You are: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Bored, or Stressed.
Tips for Accountability Conversations:
- Push the awkwardness – it is awkward at first, but once you get it out in the open, it’s easier.
- Be Consistent – Once a Week
- Be Vulnerable – The example they used was when you’re vulnerable and accountable with this stuff, you are giving your accountability partner a dagger. They’ll know stuff about you that could kill you, but ideally, they’re giving you a dagger by being vulnerable with you. It’s a sacred thing. Respect it.
Questions to ask:
- What have you struggled with in the past?
- What are you struggling with now?
- What is most likely to cause you to fall right now?
- Who is messing with you right now? What is her name? If you were going to cheat right now or fantasize about someone, who would it be?
- Are you going out of your way to have a conversation with someone?
- Have you acted out? Looked on the internet? Went out of your way to get a response from a woman?
I know I am going to start including these tough questions into some of my accountability talks. How about you? Let’s raise the standard. Let’s do this right. Let’s be accountable.